that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
