I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
