He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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