Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
