Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
