The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
