I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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