is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
