Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The uberlube is also flammable
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
