his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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