I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
