My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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