She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
