we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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