no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
