I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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