Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
