i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
