I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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