some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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