That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
