ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
