Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
