dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
