thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
