In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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