A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Drake has all the answers
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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