Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I currently don't understand fingers.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
