What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
