Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
