I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
