Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
40s are totally the cure
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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