i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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