NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
