You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
