I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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