It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
