i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
