yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
