"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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