We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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