Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I deserve this hangover.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
