You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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