I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
