someone get that fucking seahorse.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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