fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
