i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
