he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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