So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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