Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
