I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
