Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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