At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
