he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My pussy is not your playground.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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