she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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