we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
